The Alcoholic MazeThe Alcoholic Maze - 02: A year has passed since you last allowed yourself to seriously consider your spouse's drinking behavior. Although it has developed slowly your spouse's drinking behavior has become more extreme. The kids have quit making any references to the drinking, but you notice that they avoid their parent when they are drinking. Your Alcoholic's Behavior: The frequency that your spouse needs several drinks has increased. They say that work has gotten even more stressful. They need more drinks than they used to need to relax. They have more than a couple of drinks most days now. They sometimes express guilt about how much they drink, however, that often seems to coincide with days that they drink even more. It is seldom that they do anything with the family that doesn't involve drinking. Your Behavior: You have continued to deny your feelings of fear and anger. You have found yourself taking on more of your alcoholic's responsibilities. You have found yourself trying to control your spouse's drinking. You have found yourself being more judgmental, not only with your alcoholic but also with yourself and with your children.
Response 1: Some co-alcoholics will continue to avoid recognizing or admitting that there is a problem. If pressed they will outright deny that there is a problem. They will enable the alcoholic’s behavior by taking on responsibilities that the alcoholic should look after themselves. Response 2: Some co-alcoholics will begin to admit that there may be a problem but not admit the degree to which it affects them. They often blame themselves for the alcoholic’s drinking, especially when the alcoholic gets angry. They try to fix problems caused by their alcoholic’s drinking. Sometimes they get angry with their alcoholic. They continue to enable their alcoholic’s behavior.
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