Alcoholic Family Story
from Jennette
Lost everything because he promised everything was going to get better.
July 21, 2010 (Jennette’s Story) - I have been married for 16 years this Nov 2010. It started out great, no alcohol. My husband started drinking and it got worse each year. It went from that to getting drunk, having black outs and then going to prostitutes. I learned of this 3 years ago and I went through a breakdown. I walked out of my good paying job, filed bankruptcy, lost everything but still stayed because was promised everything was going to get better. I am now out of work because of a broken ankle and a dislocation. My fracture is healing but the dislocation is not healing and I am having a lot of pain. I am desperately trying to get help before returning to work. My LTD doesn't want to pay and it will be a while before my settlement with the apartment complex where I fell and caused the fracture/dislocation. I really don't know what to do. My mother and stepfather are deceased. I have nowhere to go. I do not know what to do. What do I do? Jennette -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 24, 2010 (from Wendell) - Wow, you are definitely having your share of troubles. I’m not sure how much I can help, but here goes. The first step would seem to be to recognize that there are two separate problems here. The first problem is the injury from the accident and your challenges overcoming the pain and getting back to work. There’s not a lot I can do for you on that except to remind you that there are social services that can help. The biggest challenge may be that, once again, you may need to hit bottom and start over again. Even if you can’t declare bankruptcy because it hasn’t been long enough since the last time, there are welfare programs that can help with basics such as getting food, keeping a roof over your head and getting medical assistance. It may not be pleasant, but it is survivable. Once you are back to work you can start over again. Your other challenge would seem to be that you are still with your alcoholic husband who is not providing you any dependable support. Adding the pain he causes you on top of your physical pain from the dislocation must be nearly unbearable. If he is simply adding to your problems, it may be time to split. At least until you are back on your feet and in a position to decide whether it makes any sense to get back together. If I was in your position, I would decide what was the absolute minimum that I needed to get by, and then do what was necessary to get that. You may need to do what one person did, she moved into her car and left everything that didn’t fit into her car. She rented herself a postal box at a mail service business. This gave her both a mailing and delivery address. She got herself a disposable cell phone for calls. She made sure her library card was active because that gave her access to the Internet and to books to read when there was nothing else to do. She set up a new bank account in a new bank where her spouse couldn’t find her. Because she didn’t have any cash when she started, she sold some of the things she was abandoning – her television, her computer, and anything else she could turn over for cash quickly. She signed up with a fitness center for the cheapest monthly fee possible. This gave her somewhere to have showers. She found the local homeless kitchen and food bank. She took out the passenger seat in her car and discarded it. This gave her enough room to spread things out so she could make a bed at night. In no time at all she was set up with a home on wheels. She found safe places to park at night. She took advantage of public services when she needed to, but it wasn’t long before she found work and was able to pay her own way. She stayed in the car for a year while she paid off a bunch of bills and saved enough money to get herself an apartment. This may sound drastic. However, if things are bad enough, it might be a viable alternative. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best. Please write again and let me know what you decide to do and how it turns out. Good luck! Wendell
www.my-alcoholic-addict.com -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 24, 2010 (from Jennette) - Thank you for replying. I am recovering from having some hardware removed so not a great day. We have only one car. I appreciate your advice. I will try to live here as long as I can until I can get back on my feet. Jennette -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your Comments Do you have any thoughts that you want to share? If so, please submit them here. Also, if you are commenting on someone else’s story please remember: - Include the story title at the beginning of your comments.
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